


Lock and Key

by Project324b21



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 06:37:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8654626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project324b21/pseuds/Project324b21
Summary: Sarah doesn't make it out of the house after Rachel stabs her. -Season 4 finale spoilers-





	1. Chapter 1

Sarah knew going into that house on the hill that she would have some sort of altercation with Rachel. When Sarah and Rachel were dealing with each other it almost never went any other way. Ever since Sarah broke into DYAD and held Rachel at gun point, it had been a never ending stream of violence. So, why Sarah put down the gun when she was talking to Susan, Sarah will never know. Sarah had a tendency to get sloppy in her rush to save her sisters, and she always paid for it in the end. This time she ended up with a knife in her leg. Now, Rachel picks up the gun that Sarah had abandoned, and starts firing in Sarah's direction. Fours shots, all of them barley missing her. Sarah's heart pounds in her ears as she stumbles out into the large living room of the glass house. She gets halfway across the room when her legs give out, her right one throbbing, hot blood bubbling out of it and onto the floor. Sarah collapses onto the floor with a groan. She puts her palms flat on the floor and uses all of her strength to push her upper body up. She bends her leg and tries to stand back up, only to fall onto the floor once again. In panic, she starts to drag herself across the floor with her arms.

 

Sarah gets five feet away from the door when she hears a sound that makes her freeze. The click of the hammer being pulled back on the gun rings through the room. Sarah dips her head down and rests her forehead on the cool hardwood floor. She lays there breathing heavily, hearing nothing for several moments. Finally, she hears slow footsteps approaching her. Sarah tenses up, waiting her the next blow to hit. Instead, she feels a sharp jab to her side.

 

"Roll over." Rachel's cold voice orders with another jab to her side. Slowly, Sarah rolls on her back and looks up at Rachel standing by her feet. Sarah's body trembles out of fear, fatigue, adrenaline, and anger. Rachel stares at her like a predator waiting to devour their prey, practically foaming at the mouth. Rachel hums at her, running her cane down her body, starting at her chest. "I wish you could see how you look right now." She taps her cane lightly on the stab wound on Sarah's leg, reveling in the way her entire body jerks. "The brave Sarah Manning bleeding, broken, on my floor. No where to go. No one to help you." A cold smirk crosses Rachel's face. "It's delicious."

 

"What are you going to do? Kill me?" Sarah pants at Rachel, using all of her energy to lift her head to glare at Rachel. Blood still runs down her face, she can see it in her vision, dripping off of her eyelashes. Rachel lowers herself to climb on top on Sarah, straddling her waist.

 

"On the contrary Sarah. You are much more entertaining alive." Rachel runs one finger up the trail of blood on Sarah's face. "Under my control." Rachel runs her bloody finger across Sarah's lips, painting them a brilliant shade of red, almost matching Rachel's own lipstick. Rachel can feel Sarah's lower lip trembling under her finger and it fuels her. "Under lock and key." She taps her finger on Sarah's lips once before withdrawing her hand. "I want you to know that Ferdinand is with your family at this very moment." Sarah closes her eyes and shakes her head slowly.

 

"I don't believe you." Sarah stutters.

 

"You don't?" Rachel lifts an eyebrow. Sarah just shakes her head. Underneath her, Rachel can feel Sarah's entire body shaking. Rachel retrieves a cell phone out of her pocket and unlocks it. When she turns the screen towards Sarah, Sarah sees Siobhan, Felix, and Kira sitting together with their heads down and a smiling Ferdinand behind them. Sarah screws her eyes shut and her body shakes even more than before. In a split second, Sarah sits up and wraps her hands around Rachel's throat, squeezing with all her might, despite her three broken fingers. Rachel feels her windpipe being crushed and she leans back and places her hand on Sarah's stab wound, and leans on it. Sarah screams and releases her grip at once. Rachel grabs her hands and pins them on either side of her head.

 

"Put your hands on me again, and I will personally have your family killed. Do you understand?" Rachel speaks slowly, no emotion in her voice. Sarah nods, tears falling freely down her face now. "Move, and I will not hesitate to shoot you." Rachel presses Sarah's hands firmly on the ground and slowly rises to her feet, satisfied when Sarah doesn't move an inch. Rachel casually makes her way across the room and into the kitchen, gun in hand. "I suppose I should make sure you wont try to attack again while I move you." Rachel opens a cabinet, grabs an object, and closes it again. When she makes it into Sarah's vision, Sarah's mouth goes dry. In Rachel's hand, is a syringe, filled with clear liquid.

 

"Rachel, you don't have to do that. I'm sorry. I won't touch you again, I promise. Just don't." Sarah stumbles over words in the rush to get them out. Rachel just smiles at her and resumes her position on top of Sarah. "Rachel, please." Sarah begs, her hands still on either side of her head.

 

"Oh Sarah, while I love to hear you beg, it's not going to help you." Rachel lifts her hand and slowly sinks the needle into Sarah's neck. There is a whimper from underneath her, then two hands are weakly pushing at her chest. Her thumb pushes down, and the medicine slowly enters Sarah's body. Rachel pulls the needle out once the syringe is empty and watches as Sarah's hands drop off her chest and onto the floor. Sarah's head spins as Rachel's face turns into a blur. Sarah's limbs become heavy, preventing her from being able to move them. "Goodnight, Sarah." Is the last thing she hears before everything goes black.

 

_Sarah stands in the basement of the safe house in front of the couch. On the couch sits Kira, Felix, and Siobhan. Ferdinand stands behind Kira and starts stroking her face. "Get off of her!" Sarah tries to scream, but nothing comes out._

 

_Kira looks up at Sarah, her bottom lip trembling. "You let him get me, mommy." A tear runs down Kira's face. "You promised me you'd keep me safe. Why did you lie, mommy? Don't you love me anymore?" Kira asks her. Sarah tries to scream, tries to tell her that of course she loves her, and that she's sorry, but no sound leaves her._

 

_"I should have never trusted you." Mrs. S's voice rings out. Sarah snaps her head to look at her. "You've been nothing but a train wreck since you came into my life. Just a constant burden." Sarah falls onto the floor sobbing. "You're a terrible mother. Kira deserves so much better. As I have said before, you came into my life an orphan, and that's all you'll ever be." Sarah claws at her chest, trying to force words out, trying to apologize. 'I love you' Sarah thinks._

 

_"_ _This is what I get for sticking with you, isn't it?" Felix asks. "I should have known that you were a lost cause." Sarah feels blood soaking her fingers, but she keeps clawing at her chest anyway. "You should have jumped in front of that train. Beth deserved to live much more than you. All you do is ruin people. You're worthless Sarah." Sarah sits on her knees, body bent over, face contorted in pain, silently screaming._

 

_"Don't you see, Sarah?" Rachel's voice blares into her ear. "No one wants you. No one is going to save you. They've all given up on you." Rachel's hand tangles in her hair and pulls her face up. "Look at them, look at what you've done to them." Sarah gazes at her family. She looks at the tears streaming down Kira's face, the anger on Siobhan's, and the disgust painted on Felix's, and Sarah feels herself truly break. "Finally, you will get what you deserve, and they will be free of you." Rachel lets go of her hair and Sarah collapses onto the floor once again._

 

_'I'm sorry' Sarah's heart screams._


	2. Who I'm Not

Sarah wakes up with tears running down her face. She tries to bring her hand to her face to wipe them off, but finds herself unable to move them. She opens her eyes and looks up at the pair of metal bracelets keeping her hands secured to the headboard of the bed she is now rested in. Sarah hears movement and looks down to see Rachel sitting in a chair next to the bed. Sarah's pants have been removed and she stares at the gaping wound on her leg and the rope neatly wrapped around her ankles.

　

"Hello Sarah. Did you have a peaceful sleep?" Rachel smirks. Sarah doesn't grace her with an answer, choosing instead to just glare at her. "Well, I suppose I already know the answer to that." Rachel grabs a bottle off of the table that sits next to the bed. Sarah recognizes it as rubbing alcohol. "I'm glad you woke up. I was just about to clean your wound." Rachel pours some of the alcohol into a bowl and dips a washcloth in it. Rachel presses the cloth on the gash and Sarah hisses in pain, throwing her head back. Rachel does that a few more times, until tears are stinging Sarah's eyes again. Rachel grabs some clean gauze and wraps it around her leg a few times. "I talked to Ferdinand. He said that Kira is quite an interesting child. He offered to bring her to me, to the island."

　

"No!" Sarah roars and pulls on her restraints harshly, as if she could break them purely by will.

　

"Now Sarah, there is no reason to fuss. I turned down his offer. I'm not as interested in Kira right now." Rachel moves up to clean the blood off her face. "He's there as security."

　

"I swear Rachel, if you hurt them-"

　

"What?" Rachel interrupts. "You'll kill me?" Rachel leans down until she is face to face with Sarah. "Go ahead." Sarah turns her head to the side and squeezes her eyes want.

　

"What do you want Rachel?" Sarah almost sobs out.

　

"If you remember, my mother said that I have everything I ever wanted." Rachel grabs Sarah's jaw and forces her to look at her. "What was my response to her?" Rachel's nails sink into Sarah's skin. "What did I want?" Rachel's eyes bore down into Sarah's.

　

Sarah swallows harshly and says one word. "Me." Rachel releases her grasp and examines the crescent moon shapes marks left on Sarah's face.

　

"Exactly." Rachel stands up and cleans up the first aid kit left on the table.

　

"I don't understand. All you've wanted to do is kill me, and now that you have me, you're playing nurse?" Sarah laughs bitterly.

　

"I never said I wanted to kill you. What I want, is to know everything about you." Rachel lightly trails her fingernails down Sarah's arm. "You have made that quite difficult in the past. You never wanted to cooperate, so I had to use force." Rachel moves her hand to brush some hair out of Sarah's face. "Then you kept getting away." Rachel tutts at her. "But, now you are here, with no one to come looking for you." Rachel gazes down at the eyes that once upon a time were identical to hers. "I want to know our similarities and differences. I want to see what you become in captivity."

　

"I'll still just be me." Sarah yells at her. "I'm not going to completely change just because some crazy bitch wants to keep me tied up."

　

"Get some sleep Sarah." Rachel leaves the room and Sarah hears a lock click into place. Without Rachel near her, Sarah lets herself cry. Not loud, harsh sobs, but silent heart broken tears that stream down her face.

　

It isn't long until her sadness turns into anger and she starts screaming. She yanks on her restraints and yells for Rachel to come back in there, to let her go. She wants to put another pencil in Rachel's eye and stab her in the leg. She wants to run far away from here. She wants to go cuddle with Kira and be with Helena when she has her babies. She wants Cosima to bore her with some weird science explanation. She wants Alison to mother her, and Felix to make fun of her. She wants to have tea with Mrs. S. She wants to be with her family.

　

Sarah screams for two hours, until her throat hurts and her voice is raw. Her wrists are coated in blood from the cuffs rubbing her and her ankles have rope burn. After two hours, she falls asleep.

　

_"Mommy!" Kira yells excitedly. Sarah stands in a plain white room looking through a small window that leads to another room. "Mommy look at what I made!" Kira runs up to Rachel._

_"That is very nice, Kira." Rachel picks her up and spins her around, Kira giggling the whole time. Sarah slams her hands against the window. 'No! That's my daughter! My little monkey!' She hits the window over and over again, wanting it to shatter. "I will have this framed and I wil put it on the wall." Rachel smiles at her._

_"Really?" Kira beams. Rachel nods her head and Kira hugs her tight. "I love you, mommy."_

_Rachel turns to look at the mirror, where she knows Sarah is standing behind it. "I love you too, Kira."_

_Sarah screams, her heart feeling like it's ripping out of her chest. She watches Kira and Rachel start to dance together. Kira's face always smiling, looking happier than she has in a very long time. Sarah's breathing becomes labored through her sobs, and she falls to floor. Not long after she hears a door open and footsteps approach her._

_"Did you see how happy she is?" Rachel asks her. "How easily you were replaced?" Sarah thrusts a hand in her hair and starts pulling. "Did you hear how she called me 'mommy'? How natural it sounded coming out of her?"_

_"Stop!" Sarah begs. She closes her eyes and covers her ears, shaking her head back and forth._

_"She has what she's always wanted." Rachel continues. "She has a mother who doesn't abandon her. She has a place to stay, one that she doesn't have to worry about leaving." Rachel crouches by Sarah. "She tells me so many stories. She tells me about when you left her for months at a time. About you being drunk and on drugs. About you screaming at Siobhan. She tells me about how you always left her. She says you never loved her and that you were the worst mother anyone could have."_

_"No!" Sarah shouts. "I love her!" She grabs Rachel's arms and shakes her. "She my daughter!"_

_"Not anymore, I'm afraid." Rachel says, calmly pulling Sarah's hands off of her. "She told me that she happier now. That she's happy that you're gone for good." Rachel stands and walks to the door. "Everyone's life is much easier now that you're gone, Sarah." Then she leaves_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Sarah is torturing herself in her dreams. Let me know how you like this chapter! I'm very excited to be writing again!


	3. Watch Me Decay

Three days go by with Sarah in that room. Her restraints have become longer so that she can move her hands. Ira comes in three times a day to give her food and undo her restrainsts so she can go to the bathroom. She considers knocking him out and making a run for it the first time he comes in, but she quickly realizes that the door automatically locks after Ira closes it. It only opens once again with a code. She also manages to spot two small cameras in the room.

　

So Sarah retaliates in the only way she can at the moment. She throws her food trays at the wall and her cups of water on Ira. She screams at him that she'll kill him, as he snaps her restraints back in place. She unwraps the banage on her thigh and picks the scab off everytime it reemerges. Three days, and Sarah hasnt had anything to eat or drink. She can feel it wearing on her. Her mouth is dry, her lips are chapped, and she is fatigued. It turns into a struggle just to stand up and walk to the bathroom.

　

She almost falls the next time Ira comes in. He quickly grabs her arm in order to keep her upright. "Sarah, you need to eat and drink something." Ira expresses to her. Sarah just shakes her head and continues to take shakey steps into the bathroom. "At least drink some water, you can only survive 3 days with no water in your system. You could drop tomorrow." He sighs and leans against the door frame.

　

"Rachel would love that, wouldn't she?" Sarah comments as she practically drags herself to the bed. She lets out a long breath as she falls on the bed, immediately grabbing her head.

　

"Everythings spinning, isnt it?" Ira asks as he restrains her feet back to the foot board. "You really need to stop being so stubborn. It's not going to get you anywhere with Rachel."

　

"I can take care of myself, mate." Sarah mumbles. Ira puts her wrists in their respective cuffs and looks at her. In the past few seconds, she had dozed off into an exhausted sleep. He notices the dark circles under her eyes and the coldness of her hands. He covers her sleeping form with a blanket and leaves the room.

　

An hour later, Rachel opens the door and finds Sarah still asleep. Rachel walks to the side of Sarah's bed and tightens her restraints, forcing her unmobile once again. Rachel turns her head as she hears footsteps. Ira walks in with an IV pole and a bag of clear liquid. He hands her gloves and an IV starter kit, then leaves the room. Rachel slips the latex gloves on her hands and rips open the plastic packages with her teeth. She wraps the elastic tourniquet tightly around Sarah's arm and taps until a blue vien pokes out at her. She is uncapping the needle when Sarah starts to awake. Sarah groans and looks down at her arm. She pulls on the restraints a couple times, then goes still.

　

"I would suggest that you hold still. I do not want to completely puncture your vein." Rachel advises as she lines the needle up to Sarah's vein.

　

"How about you just put that up and leave." Sarah spits out. Rachel glances up at her for a couple seconds before bowing her head again.

　

"I'm not letting you kill yourself, Sarah." Rachel slides the needle into Sarah's arm, making her let out a grunt. "This will get you hydrated, and you will start eating the food brought to you." Rachel slides the needle out and tapes the IV onto Sarah's arm.

　

"I will?" Sarah asks sarcastically. Rachel untangles the tubes attached to the bag of fluid and screws it onto Sarah's IV. Sarah shivers as the cold liquid enters her body.

　

"Start eating or a feeding tube will be next." Rachel threatens. "You are not a child, Sarah. Stop acting like one."

　

"Or what? Are you going to stab my other leg too?" Sarah chuckles. "You are clinically insane, do ya know that?"

　

"It is in your best interest to heed to my warnings. I always do exactly as I say. I do not give empty threats." Rachel turns and walks to the other side of the room. "I am going to put some medicine in your IV to help you sleep while your body hydrates itself." Sarah watches closely as Rachel makes her way back to her with a syringe matching the one she plunged into her neck three days ago. Sarah doesnt fight or say a word as Rachel pushes the liquid into her body, she just feels herself drift away.

　

_Looking in the mirror, Sarah cries. Her face is hallow, her skin grey, her hair thin and wirey. Looking down she can count her ribs and run her fingers deep into the valley between her protruding hip bones. Her legs and arms look like twigs about to snap. Turning, she can see her spine in the mirror, her skin clinging tightly to the small bumps._

_This was supposed to be over by now. Three days without water was supposed to be enough to kill her. If not that, then three weeks without food. So why did she still stand here after three months without food or water? Living in a room where she is forced to watch Kira forget all about her, through a little window._

_She sees other faces in the months that she's there. Felix stops by and plays with Kira while making jokes with Rachel. Mrs. S comes to visit one day and has a tea party with Kira and Rachel. Cosima comes in to do science expieriments with Kira, Rachel sometimes assisting. Alsion brings Oscar and Gemma over for play dates, loading them all up with cookies she has baked at home. Cal comes by to give Kira a present and kisses Rachel on the cheek as he enters. Possibly the most painful, Helena comes bounding through the door and calls Rachel sestra._

_Everyone who visits doesnt mention Sarah. They all smile and laugh as if their life had been like this for as long as they could remember. As if, Sarah never existed at all. Maybe she didnt in their minds. Maybe she has been washed away, so that she would be a burden no more. Sarah sits, and Sarah watches, everyday._

_It hurts. It hurts to the point that she stops eating. She stops drinking. She bangs her head against walls, she claws at her skin until she bleeds, she tries anything to end it. Death seems so warm and inviting. She dangles at the end of her string infront of it, but she never falls. Doomed to live in this hell no matter what she does._

_"You can't kill yourself, Sarah." Rachel tells her. "That would completely defeat the purpose of all of this." Rachel hands Sarah a razor blade. "You have to live and see the people you love forget about you. You have to see them be truley happy without you. You dont even cross their minds anymore." Sarah desperately drags the blade across every major artiery she can think of, she bleeds and bleeds, but nothing more happens. "I am the only one who remembers your sad existence. I am all you have now. So you can keep harming and tourturing yourself, but you don't get to escape. All of this, is because of you. Deal with it."_

_Sarah digs the blade in deeper._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working really hard on this, and I still don't think it's good enough. But, I'm posting it anyway.
> 
> If you like it, let me know! Please! It really helps!
> 
> Also, Merry Christmas!

**Author's Note:**

> Man, It's been almost a year since I've posted on here. I went through a rough time and lost inspiration. I haven't decided if I will continue this or not. It depends on the feedback I get. So if you like it, let me know!!!


End file.
